What is healthy fear?
Healthy fear is not a phobia, timidity, a stuck state, or a reason to forget everything and run (F-E-A-R) from uncomfortable, even sometimes painful, challenges of life’s realities.
Healthy fear, as I see it, is a sense of awareness, caution, a discernment to pause to anything suspect, possibly dangerous to my sobriety.
I have carried three healthy fears along my journey for sixteen years of continuous sobriety and active recovery.
1) A Healthy Fear of God’s Power
My Undoubting awe of God’s presence in my life is what I cling to though-out each day. I fear any actions or choices that would deafen or blind me to his promises and protection. It’s a connection, a lifeline that I can’t afford to “think” of severing. It would be paralyzing.
2) A Healthy Fear of My Thinking
I respond emotionally to what I’m thinking and what I’m thinking affects my emotions. I can sometimes react to F-E-A-R in False Evidence Appearing Real. I was given a great piece of advice; if what I’m thinking is not provable in court and I’m making stuff up, make it positive. I also rationalize, which is a form of defense. My mind can cover a lot of cra-cra, and that’s okay. With that in “mind,” the first thing I do when questioning my thinking is pray and ask for guidance. I then proactively seek second and third trusted opinions from my support network, which I like to refer to as Team Melinda, including but is not limited to a therapist, coach, spiritual adviser, and a small group of trusted friends and family.
3) Healthy Fear of Relapse
My fear of relapse is not rooted in my fair share of them. It’s rooted in the witness of someone else’s. The director of the last (God Willing) rehab center, where I was a client, relapsed with seventeen years under her belt. Back then, I did not understand how such a thing could happen. Not with all the time and its apparent success. Her total vibe was my goal, I wanted what she had, and just like that, it was gone. From that point, the number seventeen scared me straight. If it could happen to her, it could happen to me. Today, I know how easy it is to let down one’s guard and awaken the monster we call relapse. It has nothing better to do than wait for us to make the correct mistake. I believe that terror lies in the little things we ought not to do that rationalized can build into bigger things, and then the next thing, we’re caught up. In detail, the little things will make or break sobriety.
Healthy fear can propel you with courage and hope while you journey the road of recovery. So my friend, armor up with an alert mindset and a spiritual sword, ready to slay the monster if need be.
What are your healthy fears to avoid relapse?
Beautiful presentation–from start to finish. From dream to reality, Praise God…He is Faithful.